I spend my days seesawing between happy and sad. At those rare moments when I manage a fine balance in mid-air...My mind becomes clear enough to just be in the moment.
Today my son and I were sitting on the floor playing together, when he looked up at me with his beautiful deep eyes,his face captured in a perfect kissable innocence. All I could think was...why?
Why can't I freeze this moment? Why can't I relive this moment anytime I please? Why is he growing up so fast?
Then the balance shifts. I begin to eye my son with pride, thinking of how handsome he is, wondering what he will be like as a man. He's so intelligent. I can't believe I get to be his mommy. I am most blessed to know him and love him.
Yes, I am finally a mother. All of the wonderful qualities of which I have observed and admired in other parents,are qualities that were in me all along just waiting to pour forth from my heart unto my son.
There is a love and devotion that flows from me, that I had once ached to give. Finally, Now, it is my time, to nourish the body,mind and soul of this young boy, into the man he will one day become. It is a responsibility that I do not take lightly. I feel honored, exhilarated, even frightened at times. I know, however, I will not fail him. I have the spirit of God to guide me. I pray daily for the wisdom to raise my little boy up in the word of God. To teach him the fruit of the spirit. To teach the love of the truth, the joy of righteousness and the peace of holy living.